listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
