We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
