If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize
