you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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