dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
