a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
