Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
