so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
