Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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