so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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