my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
