YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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