That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
