What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
