I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
