Me. At least after what I've been through.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
