Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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