you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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