dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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