I puked a lego.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
