dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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