if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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