Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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