i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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