You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
