she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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