I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
