he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
