this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
