Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Can you bring me the toilet please
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We need to get me chipped asap
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
