I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
