Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize