you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
is it fun? or sober?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
