They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
