just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
there is puke in my bra ... again
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