I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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