I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
