As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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