hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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