Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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