how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize