when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
