How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
be right there i have to get my cape
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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