yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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