We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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