I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Naked Twister starts at high noon
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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