i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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