I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
