I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
