I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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