How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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