I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
