wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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