one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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