Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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