remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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