look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
