handjob tips. give me some.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think people are normalizing furries
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
