and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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