He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
