lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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