Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize